Guess what time it is???

IT'S MITZVAH TANK TIME!

Image Courtesy of whatisee.org - another great NYC photoblog.

The Mitzvah Tank is following me around, I swear to G-d. Last year the RV known as the MT ended up on the corner of 2nd Ave. and 5th Street, right outside of Sin Sin, where as you know I used to be every Wednesday for a little show we said goodbye to last night called The Social. (I wonder if they parked outside of "Sin Sin" on purpose? I guess they figured whoever was inside really needed help.) So anyway, my good buddies (and half-Jews) Jenny Rubin and Laura Mannino scored some candles off the Tank last year, but the boys running the show wouldn't give me any, despite my pleas of "But I'm a Black, Jewish lesbian on the inside, officer! And isn't that what counts?"

Today the Heebmobile is parked in Times Square, crankin' out the krazy klezmer hits. The tourists must be dee-lighted that they get to see the MARS-tian and boys with curly sideburns all in one fell swoop. (I know I can't resist a man in suit and tzitzit.) Anyway - on my way in and out of the building today I got asked four times if I was Jewish! Four times! I am so excited. I have rachov cred! Awesome.

I was raised Catholic, but I flirted with convertin' for a looong time. (That's what makes me the "Charlotte" among my friends. But the fact that I have a baby makes me the "Miranda!" So my best girlfriends call me "Charanda." Isn't that cute?!) I even bought Judaism for Dummies at one point - which is a total oxymoron, right?! I kinda gave up on the whole mikvah thing, but I still try to celebrate Passover each year because it's a waaay more interesting and religious holiday than Easter. (So Jesus rose from the dead! That's just magic. I mean, Harry Potter doesn't have his own holiday - yet.)

I guess I'm feelin' a little less Jew-y this year because we're taking the baby to Holland to be Baptized. When I told my mother, she said, "Well, I just hope it sticks, Carolyn." I assured her that since the word "catholic" means universal, I think Adriana's soul will be safe - despite the fact that she'll be dipped in the same water bathed in by professional pot-smoking whores. She said okay, but I don't think she meant it.