A large man wearing a dew rag approaches Carolyn from behind and begins to walk up the subway stairs next to her.
LMWDR: Nice tattoo.
Carolyn: Thanks.
LMWDR: I see you! I see you drinkin' that Diet Coke. This is New York City, you keep walkin' around here and you'll get down to the size you want to be.
Carolyn pauses, not fully convinced it's possible that someone actually just said that - out loud - to her face - especially given the fact that she was just engaged in some silent and pleasant self-talk about how good she looked in her new Target frock. She stops walking briefly as she realizes she just stepped over her own jaw. She picks it up as she crests the stairs and begins walking again.
LMWDR: But you look good. You look good the size you are. I'd take you out to dinner like that. We could go out 2 or 3 times... Have some tuna salad.
Carolyn, unsure whether or not he meant the double entendre, keeps walking, dragging her jaw behind her on the street. Someone kicks it. She keeps walking.
Fin.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
18 comments:
at least he didn't tell you that you had a big nose.
did he?
I'm fairly sure it's "do" rag, unless it's made of material advertising Mountain Dew.
T-Ron - I did google it and dew rag gave me several credible hits, such as stock photgraphy of a "young man in a dew rag." (Then again, it was yellow - no. 5.) I also thought of optioning "dude" rag but thought that was just a tad over the top.
Anne - you know what they say about girls with big noses...
They're Jewish.
no, for real, it's do-rag. you can google any number of misspelled words and get 'credible hits.' you can enter any kind of wrong information and get validation from google, if that's how you want to live your life. but it's do-rag, short for hairdo rag.
you passed up a tuna dinner, wow!
So, like... you're fat, huh?
Anon #1: Hairdo rag sounds suspect to me. I like dew rag, as in dew, as in sweat on the head. Call it artistic license. Obviously I'm not alone here. But I noticed it's also spelled "do" rag and "doo" rag. And, on Wikipedia, "durag," even. You could probably also spell it handkerchief.
Anon #2: That depends on how fatist you are. Are you fatist, Anon #2? I should hope not! Really now. In this dew and age...
Non-StopCrashin, I'm not sure I passed up a tuna dinner. It wasn't implicitly offered. It seemed like more of a possibility than a concrete plan.
But still - it was tuna salad, not tuna steak.
Come to think of it - I'm surprised he didn't suggest a tuna roll...
I have never seen a rebus that made me laugh. Thanks, Castiglia.
And I've never laughed at anyone using the word rebus. Yo go, C-Co, with your bad vocabulo.
Damn it's DO rag....old slang. Brothers use to wrap their heads to maintain their do (hairdo). Now that the word and the look (for better or worst) has trickled out to the society at large people who obviously haven't a clue use it...
clearly, you've missed the point if you're attn is on the doodudodew-ragg. shout out to the Diet C. Shout out to being phat.
But personally, I'd have asked the man to at least get me a nice crispy chicken breast for my troubles.
i meant "your".... sorry
It's do rag. Or do-rag. It doens't matter. What matters is it's not dew rag!
You miss this kind of stuff when you're holed up in the midwest for the summer. WHERE IS MY SEMI-COMPLIMENTARY GAWKING???
Ooh! you made Gawker! excellent...
Anna Banana rhymes with BANDANA! Let's stop doo-in' the dew and focus on the real issues.
I am attractive enough to be served tuna salad.
Let's let the fish unite both sides of the aisle.
ROFLMAO...those back handed compliments are the worst. Yech, dooo rags which I call don't rags.
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