Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Ash Wednesday

I just realized today was Ash Wednesday, the day when Catholics (and some other Christians, I guess) go to church and get burnt palms wiped on their foreheads in order to, um, think more about Jesus, I guess? I don't really remember anymore what I learned in church school about it. Then again, I don't really remember anymore what I learned in any school about anything. But I do know that whenever I see someone with ashes on their head, I feel that I should go get some immediately, you know, just in case.

THIS IS WHAT A GOOD PERSON LOOKS LIKE.

Anyhoo - I've decided I can't get ashes, because then I won't be able to put on makeup later. But I thought for a second, what if I asked the priest to just smear the ashes on my lids? You know, give me a smoky Jesus eye:

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Smoke, Amen.

Of course on me, it would probably end up looking like this:

Given the fact that most Catholic priests are gay, it might just be the best free makeover I ever got. Certainly better than a day at the Clinique counter.

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa! To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men girls in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

p.s. - This is the best picture I have ever seen:




The Rev. Charles F. Buckhahn, 55, of Bethlehem Lutheran Church burns palm crosses in preparation for Ash Wednesday. He joked that if church members saw this example of his "cooking," they probably wouldn't invite him to potlucks.