Monday, February 25, 2008

My 9 Word Recap of the Oscars:


"Cameron Diaz makes Goldie Hawn look like a scientist."


It wasn't just the way she flubbed saying "cinematography" - though, honestly, if you're out-poised by Miley Cyrus, you probably need to do some serious thinking. It was her red-carpet manners that really got to me. "Oh, my dress? It's Dior. If I'm wearing it, I should know who it is, right? Yeah, like, Daniel Day-Lewis like totally gets into his parts. Um, are there french fries somewhere or something? I LOVE junk food."


Also, I got a sense in her interview that she had absolutely no desire to be there. The Fug Girls recap it best:


Cameron Diaz gets a turn with Ryan, and — how to say this politely? — she REALLY should have worn some foundation. And some lipstick. And done her hair. And worn something else. Or stayed home.


Beyond that, it was a pretty boring night, as many bloggers and vloggers have already noted. I was praying Sicko would win Best Documentary Feature just so Michael Moore's crazy ass could get up there and make the show memorable.


michael-moore-pizza

Hey guys - great show - mmm - can somebody pass the oregano? Man, you know what would taste great on top of this pizza? THE FREE HEALTHCARE I'M GONNA NEED AFTER I GO TO SCHOOL AND GET SHOT BECAUSE THIS COUNTRY IS RUN BY A BUNCH OF TERRORIST LOVING A-HOLES! And some more pepperoni.