Independence Day

In honor of the birth of our nation, I present you with the top 5 renditions by pop stars of The Star Spangled Banner in ranking order according to me, musical idiot savant, Miss CKC.

Number Five... Mariah Carey. Not cuz I actually like her version, but because she's so awesomely ridiculous. Oh, and she's the BIGGEST SELLING FEMALE RECORDING ARTIST IN HISTORY. I know, cuz it's in her intro:



Plus, she's perhaps the only person who has ever stretched the word "glare" out into 10 syllables.

At Number Four... Faith Hill. I feel pretty blandly about Faith's work in general, but she does a good job on this one, really making it her own. Plus, the interpretive sign language by the color guard makes it priceless:



At Number Three... Alanis Morrissette. Perhaps the worst/best public performance of this song ever. I think at certain points she was actually getting booed. I love that she sings the entire song like it's an angry grrl jam, but then at the end she pulls out the old standby R&B "br-a-a-ave."



However - her performance of "Oh, Canada" at the Stanley Cup finals moved me to tears. Those Canuks really know how to throw a party. And they always have lots of ice on hand.



Number Two! CARRIE UNDERWOOD. And the only reason it's not number one is because it's a capella. If she had an orchestra behind her my head would probably have popped off:



And NUMBER ONE... Whitney Houston! Whitney is of course still the best singer of all time, and her crack face is eternally amazing. She could twist her cheeks up like a squirrel before she ever put an ounce of rock in her system. How else could you get that kind of sound out?



Miss Congeniality goes to... BEYONCE KNOWLES for her exquisite showmanship. Her voice is not nearly as powerful as the rest, despite its beauty. What she does better than anyone though is put on a show wherever she goes. This arrangement is fantastic and the football players are totally feelin' it: