Earlier this morning I was directed to a list of words and phrases that the genius vocabulary scientists over at Lake Superior State University have decided need to be "banned" in 2013. Because nothing says academic creativity and freedom like banning the use of language, am I right people?
Anyhoo! (BANNED IN '07 BUT I'M STILL KEEPING IT ALIVE LIKE A COPY OF The Catcher in the Rye.) Because I believe in words and their power, I ain't gonna tell you to ban shit. Instead, I'm going to offer you a list of words and phrases we should all start saying in 2013, and yes I mean ALL OF US because I believe in socialized medicine and a forced public school education:
That's when you're so nervous about your financial situation it gives you diarrhea.
SOUBIRB is the new YOLO, and also works as a great response to taunts of YOLO, because Some Of Us Believe In Reincarnation, Bitch!
What you say to your roommate right before he or she is about to eat something of yours that you know has gone bad but that you left in the fridge. Can also be used to warn a friend that they are about to deal with an annoying child of entitlement.
Unlike other bloggers have suggested, the fuckit list isn't a list of things you want to be brave enough to do well before you die, it's a list of people you want to do before you get too old. Unless being an old person who fucks is on your fuckit list. Then that's cool.
When a topic is so mind-blowingly popular on Twitter you actually get sucked inside your computer and turn into a glowing, neon digibot who can't stop running around blasting lazers off in excitement about the Kardashian/West baby, for example. "OMG, Kanye West was totes on my Fuckit List, but now that he's having a baby with - SPOLIED ALERT! - Kim Kardashian I have to banish him from the list. Dude, you didn't know she was preggers? It was totally Tronding. Whatevs, SOUBIRB! Maybe next time, Kanye!"